Bloodied in Battle

I've talked about our outings to see the alpacas and donkeys up the road. We take a little field trip to our friends every couple of days to feed them carrots or apples or whatever we might have lying around...we will not make the mistake of taking them asparagus again but that's a whole other post.

Today, on our return trip from our visit we happened upon a rather large (for our area) 4-5" long brown praying mantis who was sunning itself on a fence. Intrigued, because although I'm aware that they live here we don't see them all too often, and especially not this size I did what any mother would do: I told R to touch it so I could take her picture. R has no fear. Z-E-R-O. She walked up and poked it and giggled and I captured it for proof of her bravery. Then, I thought to myself: "Hmmm, this thing is so cool! I bet Tommy would love to see it!" So, I emptied R's water bottle and attempted to capture the creature. As I did, the beast cocked it's head directly toward me in a horror movie type fashion and being the helpless wimp that I am I stopped and we went on our merry way.

A block down the road (ugh, I already have chills) I felt something on my foot. It felt like a dry leaf had become stuck on my toe so I kind of kicked the air to release it. Then I felt a pinch.

I am terrified of spiders- there is no other word to describe my fear of them. It is unhealthy. I ninja jumped high into the air, landed hard and then kicked my flip flops off my feet before I even knew what had happened. The words I uttered were something to the effect of "Hooooh magosh." Terri.fied.

I looked at my flip flop and smashed next to it was no spider rather, it was the praying mantis!!! It hitched a ride on my foot for a block! (gag) It was ticked at me! The thing actually attacked me, or in it's mind, retaliated against me but no less, attacked! It bit me! Calculated and with intent!

At first I thought that maybe it had just been its long legs; that it had grabbed hold of my toe with the barbs but NO. I have two little fang like bite marks covered in dried blood from my opponent. Just in case he was playing dead I stepped on him again. R looked up at me and said "das da pwayin manis, mama?"

I replied "Yes R- you're safe. He's dead."

"Oh." She was so shaken with fear that no other words could escape her tongue. (no)

B sat in the front seat of the stroller, obviously paralyzed with fear, then smiled when I told him all was well. (had no idea what had even occurred)

Yep, he was dead alright. I win!

I was so bothered by the fact that I'd been followed and ambushed by an insect that I decided to do some research. Here is what I found on wikipedia:

The majority of mantises are ambush predators, but a few genera such as the ground mantis, Entella, Ligaria and Ligariella run over dry ground seeking prey much as tiger beetles do. Species that are ambush predators camouflage themselves and spend long periods standing perfectly still. They largely wait for their prey to stray within reach, but most mantises will chase tempting prey if necessary. When a target does get close enough, the mantis then lashes out at remarkable speed (the speed and way depends a lot on the species), in fractions of the time it takes people to blink. Some ground and bark species, however, pursue their prey. Prey items are caught and held securely with grasping, spiked forelegs. The praying mantis usually holds its prey with one arm between the head and thorax, and the other on the abdomen. Then, if the prey does not resist, the mantis will eat it alive. However, if the prey does resist, the mantis will often eat its head first (some species of mantises do it more than others), and then carry on with the body in pieces. (translation: we are lucky to be alive)

And on Yahoo answers:

Although praying mantis' are predatory creatures who will eat almost anything smaller than them, they are typically uninterested and unthreatened by humans and those humans who do end up with a praying mantis bite were usually doing something unkind to that particular praying mantis and therefore probably deserved it. (heehee! this dude is certainly passionate about the mantis!)

And so in conclusion, I have been bloodied in battle defending my poor little children who would have surely had their heads bitten off by the very cranky mantis. They're so lucky to have me.

I'm going to have nightmares tonight.