Over a week ago R was playing with a pink comb that I have. Eventually, as with ANY object she hit B on the head with it and I took it away and WWIII ensued. After a couple of days she chilled out and forgot about it...or so I thought:
Today, I heard R crying in her bed when she woke from her nap. I gave it a couple of minutes because, well, I can. I went in and snuggled her and the following conversation occurred:
Me: "why are you crying sweetheart?"
R: "I want my pink comb back!"
Really?
Thursday, December 6, 2012
Friday, October 5, 2012
Oldie But a Goodie
Most people loved school growing up. I hated school. I'll say it again: I. Hated. School. Social aspect? Loved it! But the escuela part? Hated. I have no idea why this was the case. I'm smart and I was in honors classes but I just detested having to do homework...I had a very hard time focusing.
One thing I had a lot of in high school were sick days. It was like this: if I had a headache, I didn't go to school. I'd be propped up in mom and dad's bed with the remote in hand and I'd be set for the day. I slept a lot, watched a little Price is Right and some Perry Mason sure, but the thing I loved most about those sick days was Bob Ross.
Ah, Bob. I always thought that I was the only person who knew or appreciated Bob Ross and his happy trees and clouds that he dreamt up in those imaginary landscapes. Is everyone aware that he never painted actual places? I'm pretty sure it took me a while to figure this out because for most of my life I was always trying to figure out which mountain range he was painting at one time or another. Answer: None that exists in this world. Yes, Bob, it seems had quite the vivid imagination. I thought that the show had been cancelled until gold was struck last week. He's still on!
I was making lunch for the children. I went to turn the channel to the news at noon and then: it was as if angels sang right there in my kitchen. Bob Ross appeared on the screen and I kid you not- like a moth to a flame R was transfixed; we both were, actually. The only thing that drew me away were B's cries for more food. I think we'll start watching daily.
I stumbled upon this little gem tonight and it made me smile. It appears to have been viewed a tremendous number of times so please, if I'm totally out of the loop on popular YouTube videos, just know that I'm an attentive mother who doesn't surf the web all day.
post script: when I was 6 I had an assistant soccer coach (teammate's dad) who could have been Bob Ross' twin. Right down to the clothes. Greta and Sam, you have to know who I'm talking about...I just can't remember their last name!!!
One thing I had a lot of in high school were sick days. It was like this: if I had a headache, I didn't go to school. I'd be propped up in mom and dad's bed with the remote in hand and I'd be set for the day. I slept a lot, watched a little Price is Right and some Perry Mason sure, but the thing I loved most about those sick days was Bob Ross.
Ah, Bob. I always thought that I was the only person who knew or appreciated Bob Ross and his happy trees and clouds that he dreamt up in those imaginary landscapes. Is everyone aware that he never painted actual places? I'm pretty sure it took me a while to figure this out because for most of my life I was always trying to figure out which mountain range he was painting at one time or another. Answer: None that exists in this world. Yes, Bob, it seems had quite the vivid imagination. I thought that the show had been cancelled until gold was struck last week. He's still on!
I was making lunch for the children. I went to turn the channel to the news at noon and then: it was as if angels sang right there in my kitchen. Bob Ross appeared on the screen and I kid you not- like a moth to a flame R was transfixed; we both were, actually. The only thing that drew me away were B's cries for more food. I think we'll start watching daily.
I stumbled upon this little gem tonight and it made me smile. It appears to have been viewed a tremendous number of times so please, if I'm totally out of the loop on popular YouTube videos, just know that I'm an attentive mother who doesn't surf the web all day.
post script: when I was 6 I had an assistant soccer coach (teammate's dad) who could have been Bob Ross' twin. Right down to the clothes. Greta and Sam, you have to know who I'm talking about...I just can't remember their last name!!!
Monday, October 1, 2012
Bloodied in Battle
I've talked about our outings to see the alpacas and donkeys up the road. We take a little field trip to our friends every couple of days to feed them carrots or apples or whatever we might have lying around...we will not make the mistake of taking them asparagus again but that's a whole other post.
Today, on our return trip from our visit we happened upon a rather large (for our area) 4-5" long brown praying mantis who was sunning itself on a fence. Intrigued, because although I'm aware that they live here we don't see them all too often, and especially not this size I did what any mother would do: I told R to touch it so I could take her picture. R has no fear. Z-E-R-O. She walked up and poked it and giggled and I captured it for proof of her bravery. Then, I thought to myself: "Hmmm, this thing is so cool! I bet Tommy would love to see it!" So, I emptied R's water bottle and attempted to capture the creature. As I did, the beast cocked it's head directly toward me in a horror movie type fashion and being the helpless wimp that I am I stopped and we went on our merry way.
A block down the road (ugh, I already have chills) I felt something on my foot. It felt like a dry leaf had become stuck on my toe so I kind of kicked the air to release it. Then I felt a pinch.
I am terrified of spiders- there is no other word to describe my fear of them. It is unhealthy. I ninja jumped high into the air, landed hard and then kicked my flip flops off my feet before I even knew what had happened. The words I uttered were something to the effect of "Hooooh magosh." Terri.fied.
I looked at my flip flop and smashed next to it was no spider rather, it was the praying mantis!!! It hitched a ride on my foot for a block! (gag) It was ticked at me! The thing actually attacked me, or in it's mind, retaliated against me but no less, attacked! It bit me! Calculated and with intent!
At first I thought that maybe it had just been its long legs; that it had grabbed hold of my toe with the barbs but NO. I have two little fang like bite marks covered in dried blood from my opponent. Just in case he was playing dead I stepped on him again. R looked up at me and said "das da pwayin manis, mama?"
I replied "Yes R- you're safe. He's dead."
"Oh." She was so shaken with fear that no other words could escape her tongue. (no)
B sat in the front seat of the stroller, obviously paralyzed with fear, then smiled when I told him all was well. (had no idea what had even occurred)
Yep, he was dead alright. I win!
I was so bothered by the fact that I'd been followed and ambushed by an insect that I decided to do some research. Here is what I found on wikipedia:
The majority of mantises are ambush predators, but a few genera such as the ground mantis, Entella, Ligaria and Ligariella run over dry ground seeking prey much as tiger beetles do. Species that are ambush predators camouflage themselves and spend long periods standing perfectly still. They largely wait for their prey to stray within reach, but most mantises will chase tempting prey if necessary. When a target does get close enough, the mantis then lashes out at remarkable speed (the speed and way depends a lot on the species), in fractions of the time it takes people to blink. Some ground and bark species, however, pursue their prey. Prey items are caught and held securely with grasping, spiked forelegs. The praying mantis usually holds its prey with one arm between the head and thorax, and the other on the abdomen. Then, if the prey does not resist, the mantis will eat it alive. However, if the prey does resist, the mantis will often eat its head first (some species of mantises do it more than others), and then carry on with the body in pieces. (translation: we are lucky to be alive)
And on Yahoo answers:
Although praying mantis' are predatory creatures who will eat almost anything smaller than them, they are typically uninterested and unthreatened by humans and those humans who do end up with a praying mantis bite were usually doing something unkind to that particular praying mantis and therefore probably deserved it. (heehee! this dude is certainly passionate about the mantis!)
And so in conclusion, I have been bloodied in battle defending my poor little children who would have surely had their heads bitten off by the very cranky mantis. They're so lucky to have me.
I'm going to have nightmares tonight.
Today, on our return trip from our visit we happened upon a rather large (for our area) 4-5" long brown praying mantis who was sunning itself on a fence. Intrigued, because although I'm aware that they live here we don't see them all too often, and especially not this size I did what any mother would do: I told R to touch it so I could take her picture. R has no fear. Z-E-R-O. She walked up and poked it and giggled and I captured it for proof of her bravery. Then, I thought to myself: "Hmmm, this thing is so cool! I bet Tommy would love to see it!" So, I emptied R's water bottle and attempted to capture the creature. As I did, the beast cocked it's head directly toward me in a horror movie type fashion and being the helpless wimp that I am I stopped and we went on our merry way.
A block down the road (ugh, I already have chills) I felt something on my foot. It felt like a dry leaf had become stuck on my toe so I kind of kicked the air to release it. Then I felt a pinch.
I am terrified of spiders- there is no other word to describe my fear of them. It is unhealthy. I ninja jumped high into the air, landed hard and then kicked my flip flops off my feet before I even knew what had happened. The words I uttered were something to the effect of "Hooooh magosh." Terri.fied.
I looked at my flip flop and smashed next to it was no spider rather, it was the praying mantis!!! It hitched a ride on my foot for a block! (gag) It was ticked at me! The thing actually attacked me, or in it's mind, retaliated against me but no less, attacked! It bit me! Calculated and with intent!
At first I thought that maybe it had just been its long legs; that it had grabbed hold of my toe with the barbs but NO. I have two little fang like bite marks covered in dried blood from my opponent. Just in case he was playing dead I stepped on him again. R looked up at me and said "das da pwayin manis, mama?"
I replied "Yes R- you're safe. He's dead."
"Oh." She was so shaken with fear that no other words could escape her tongue. (no)
B sat in the front seat of the stroller, obviously paralyzed with fear, then smiled when I told him all was well. (had no idea what had even occurred)
Yep, he was dead alright. I win!
I was so bothered by the fact that I'd been followed and ambushed by an insect that I decided to do some research. Here is what I found on wikipedia:
The majority of mantises are ambush predators, but a few genera such as the ground mantis, Entella, Ligaria and Ligariella run over dry ground seeking prey much as tiger beetles do. Species that are ambush predators camouflage themselves and spend long periods standing perfectly still. They largely wait for their prey to stray within reach, but most mantises will chase tempting prey if necessary. When a target does get close enough, the mantis then lashes out at remarkable speed (the speed and way depends a lot on the species), in fractions of the time it takes people to blink. Some ground and bark species, however, pursue their prey. Prey items are caught and held securely with grasping, spiked forelegs. The praying mantis usually holds its prey with one arm between the head and thorax, and the other on the abdomen. Then, if the prey does not resist, the mantis will eat it alive. However, if the prey does resist, the mantis will often eat its head first (some species of mantises do it more than others), and then carry on with the body in pieces. (translation: we are lucky to be alive)
And on Yahoo answers:
Although praying mantis' are predatory creatures who will eat almost anything smaller than them, they are typically uninterested and unthreatened by humans and those humans who do end up with a praying mantis bite were usually doing something unkind to that particular praying mantis and therefore probably deserved it. (heehee! this dude is certainly passionate about the mantis!)
And so in conclusion, I have been bloodied in battle defending my poor little children who would have surely had their heads bitten off by the very cranky mantis. They're so lucky to have me.
I'm going to have nightmares tonight.
Sunday, September 30, 2012
Jesus and Zoe and Elmo....and Telly Too...
The children and I have been here all weekend: sick. Tommy left to hunt with our brother-in-law in eastern Oregon on Friday. The illness began Thursday with R vomiting 9 times in her bedroom and all over B and me. Nice. Tommy left at 4 AM on Friday and by the time I was awake for the day at 6:30 it struck and I was down for the count.
Something strange happens when you're sick. It's as if all knowledge of actual comfort leaves one's brain and is replaced by what we perceive to be comfortable. In my case this meant that lying face down on my living room floor felt awesome, but I very nearly came to tears as my littles began (it seemed) to run wild and free around me, pulling out every toy we owned with each turn around the room. They were destroying the house and I helpless to stop it. Worse, B is crawling and R is a curly red head: got it?
My only hope was to make it to B's nap time at 9:30 and I did. I grabbed my kindle and set R up with Caillou on Netflix and began rocking B next to her in the La-Z-boy. Finally he drifted and when I was sure that R was enthralled in the whiny antics of Caillou I allowed myself to fall asleep with him. I was in and out of it for about 45 minutes and then I believe I fell into a deep sleep for about 10 minutes before being awakened by a banging noise. R was whacking my kindle with all of her might and laughing too. I lost it. I snatched the kindle from her grasp; the tears began immediately as did the ringing of the phone. I answered it to hear Tommy's voice. It never fails: Tommy always calls right after R has done something naughty which means that I am always a raging Queen B**** when I speak to him. He must think "ahhh, it's the mother of my children!"
To spare you the gorey details I'll just say that in a 6 hour window I happened to lose 4 lbs. I looked in my kitchen which was piled high with dishes, canning supplies and peaches. Peaches! Oh no! I was supposed to finish canning them today! I called my mother at work and asked her to come and get the peaches so that they wouldn't go to waste. She insisted that she'd be up to take care of us after her workday at 4. I then called my mother-in-law who came to my immediate rescue. She grabbed B, I put R down for a nap and then went to bed myself. When I awakened two hours later I was shocked. My house was clean, dishes were done! I have the best mother-in-law. Better yet, both of the children were still sleeping. She left and soon my mother arrived with our dear friend Megan in tow. Women are wonderful givers of service. They fed my children dinner, did my laundry and finished canning my peaches. My mother stayed the night because she is awesome. The next morning I was still not feeling my best. She and Megan took the kids shopping and I enjoyed 4 blissful hours to myself. It was divine. I slept and read the whole time.
Today, my father-in-law has the crud. Oops. I decided to take it easy and stay home from church so my mother-in-law, wanting to show off my cute child picked up R and took to her church. B and I napped. When R returned I got her ready for her nap. I asked her if she had learned about Jesus in church. She replied: "Yes. And Zoe, and Elmo....and Telly too."
Hmmm. I had no idea that the Muppet's were LDS.
Something strange happens when you're sick. It's as if all knowledge of actual comfort leaves one's brain and is replaced by what we perceive to be comfortable. In my case this meant that lying face down on my living room floor felt awesome, but I very nearly came to tears as my littles began (it seemed) to run wild and free around me, pulling out every toy we owned with each turn around the room. They were destroying the house and I helpless to stop it. Worse, B is crawling and R is a curly red head: got it?
My only hope was to make it to B's nap time at 9:30 and I did. I grabbed my kindle and set R up with Caillou on Netflix and began rocking B next to her in the La-Z-boy. Finally he drifted and when I was sure that R was enthralled in the whiny antics of Caillou I allowed myself to fall asleep with him. I was in and out of it for about 45 minutes and then I believe I fell into a deep sleep for about 10 minutes before being awakened by a banging noise. R was whacking my kindle with all of her might and laughing too. I lost it. I snatched the kindle from her grasp; the tears began immediately as did the ringing of the phone. I answered it to hear Tommy's voice. It never fails: Tommy always calls right after R has done something naughty which means that I am always a raging Queen B**** when I speak to him. He must think "ahhh, it's the mother of my children!"
To spare you the gorey details I'll just say that in a 6 hour window I happened to lose 4 lbs. I looked in my kitchen which was piled high with dishes, canning supplies and peaches. Peaches! Oh no! I was supposed to finish canning them today! I called my mother at work and asked her to come and get the peaches so that they wouldn't go to waste. She insisted that she'd be up to take care of us after her workday at 4. I then called my mother-in-law who came to my immediate rescue. She grabbed B, I put R down for a nap and then went to bed myself. When I awakened two hours later I was shocked. My house was clean, dishes were done! I have the best mother-in-law. Better yet, both of the children were still sleeping. She left and soon my mother arrived with our dear friend Megan in tow. Women are wonderful givers of service. They fed my children dinner, did my laundry and finished canning my peaches. My mother stayed the night because she is awesome. The next morning I was still not feeling my best. She and Megan took the kids shopping and I enjoyed 4 blissful hours to myself. It was divine. I slept and read the whole time.
Today, my father-in-law has the crud. Oops. I decided to take it easy and stay home from church so my mother-in-law, wanting to show off my cute child picked up R and took to her church. B and I napped. When R returned I got her ready for her nap. I asked her if she had learned about Jesus in church. She replied: "Yes. And Zoe, and Elmo....and Telly too."
Hmmm. I had no idea that the Muppet's were LDS.
Saturday, September 29, 2012
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
...And Then, There's Reality
We all do it: post a picture on a blog or Facebook of the Super Housewife we believe ourselves to be and the domestic accomplishments that we're so proud of. Be it a craft or a yummy dinner or dessert: whatever; we want everyone to think that we've got it all together right? So, when you see those pictures you look around your messy house and wonder what is wrong with you and why aren't you able to be Super Housewife like all of the others; why, the second you turn your attention to something else that chaos ensues around you and your kitchen looks like the tupperware drawer threw up because the crawling child has had a hay day during your mental absence. Admit it.
Here's a secret: they are lying. We all are!
I'm canning peaches today and while normally I would probably just post a close-up picture of the orange goodness inside of the jars and say something like "we've been busy..." I'm not. I'm going to show you what my house actually looks like today and it 'aint pretty.
Exhibits:
Here's a secret: they are lying. We all are!
I'm canning peaches today and while normally I would probably just post a close-up picture of the orange goodness inside of the jars and say something like "we've been busy..." I'm not. I'm going to show you what my house actually looks like today and it 'aint pretty.
Exhibits:
Here's my kitchen
Here's what my table looks like
Here is my floor at this exact moment...hot.
And this is what my children look like right now
You may all proceed to tell yourselves how superior you are to me when in reality, we've all been there. Remember, no one is perfect and the woman who wants everyone to think she can do everything is probably crying by herself at night and taking shots at 11 am.
Here's a good gauge that my doctor gave me: its a good day if you haven't dropped an F-bomb at your toddler. Perspective? Truth is, 1 hour from now the Cheerios will be swept, the clutter put away and diapers changed. It will all get done! Not to mention that while the kiddos sleep I get to have a cleaning party as Journey blasts through the house! Holla! Just be sure to tell yourself daily that you are doing a great job!
PS...R has a poopy diaper that needs changing and I'm letting her marinate while I type. More examples!
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
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